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Tidying up, Gary’s way

Keep tidy
Keep tidy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Let the spring-cleaning commence! Well, more importantly, the tidying up. Because until that is done, we won’t be able to see the surfaces that need cleaning.

As always at the start of the school holidays, my first thought is to tidy the house. This is so that we can enjoy the rest of the holidays in an orderly environment.

Also, whenever I’m planning to go away for more than a few days, I like to blitz the house so that it looks extra appealing when we return. It’s amazing how a few days away can give you a fresh perspective on your home. Stepping through the door, suitcase in hand, I’m always pleasantly surprised to be reminded how much I love my house. Absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder – especially if the scene that welcomes my return is tidy.

This time, my task is a tall order. Every room in the house is topsy-turvy and a major effort is needed to restore an air of calm. Where on earth should I begin?

And then I remember a tactic of my old friend Gary’s. Gary was part of my social circle decades ago, when home was my first rented flat. Gary was a bit of a gem. He was cheery and intelligent, without being an intellectual. When my then boyfriend, studying for a history degree, dropped into a pub conversation that he had to choose a topic for his thesis, Gary suggested brightly “How about the history of dogs?”

Gary was determined and methodical. Unable to speak a word of French, he passed his French O Level purely by skilful planning. He knew that a large percentage of the marks were allotted for the essay question which was likely to be on a limited range of topics. He reckoned that if he learnt by heart an essay on a day at the beach, “Sur La Plage”, he’d be in with a chance of passing. So he did – and he passed. On holiday in France a couple of years later, he was still unable to do so much as order a drink in a cafe. But put him  sur la plage and he was happy.

Woolworths Reading
Woolworths Reading (Photo: Wikipedia)

Gary took a similarly determined attitude to his future. Leaving school at 16, he needed to choose a career. The biggest shop on the local high street was Woolworths,  so he applied to become a trainee Woolworths manager. He did well at his job, ultimately managing the branch in the Strand in London, planning carefully at every step. One of his tasks was to deposit the store’s daily takings at the nearby bank. Rather than worry about security, he simply put the cash in a Woolworths carrier bag every day, confident that no mugger would ever think it worth stealing something that came from Woolworths.

He brought a new order to every aspect of his  job. One Christmas, he discovered that his staff were comparing the cards he had given each of them to try to decide who he liked best. He then put a list on the staffroom noticeboard allocating points to each Christmas card image. This allowed staff to calculate scientifically how much he liked them. If their card showed a Santa – 5 points, Christmas tree – 4 points, snow scene – 3 points, and so on. I am not entirely convinced he was joking.

SVG Version of Image:Pac_Man.png
Pac-Man (Photo: Wikipedia)

Gary’s personal habits were also meticulously organised. He enjoyed his food but in a very orderly way. Confronted by a plate of food, he would start carefully at one side, taking little forkfuls  across the plate, gradually clearing it in a straight line from one side to another. It was like watching a military campaign, the invading force gradually capture enemy territory, pushing the line ever further back. Gary’s only concession to the taste of his food was to choose as his starting point the side opposite his favourite item of food. With a roast dinner, that would be the meat. His progress was fascinating. It was like watching  Pac-Man have lunch.

I’ve always taken Gary’s approach to gardening. I’m a fair-weather gardener and I don’t bother much between November and March. Then when the first Spring-like day comes along, I venture into the small lean-to that we grandly call our conservatory and revive all the plants out there. Next, I step outside the lean-to, which opens on to my herb garden.  I thoroughly weed the herb garden before advancing to the pond immediately beyond it. Once the pond is in order, I progress a couple of steps to the first vegetable bed – and so on, until everything in the garden is to my liking. It’s a long, slow job, but the benefit is that you always see the best first and the untidiest bit is always furthest from view. It’s the opposite of painting yourself into a corner.

Racon signal ("K") on radar screen S...
Racon signal ("K") on radar screen Source: http://www.navcen.uscg.gov/marcomms/geninfo/racon.htm (Photo: Wikipedia)

And this holiday it occurs to me that Gary’s strategy would work equally well with tidying. I start off upstairs, standing on the landing and sweeping my mind’s eye around the first floor, like the radar detector you see on old films of U-boats. First stop is my daughter’s bedroom (a complete muddle since she’s spent the last week “camping” on the floor for a change of scene), then my bedroom, then the bathroom, then my study. Downstairs, the living room will be followed by the kitchen, then the larder, then (saving the worst till last), my husband’s study.

Suddenly, an insurmountable task is made manageable. With the help of my trusty iPod, full of BBC Radio 4 podcats, I feel further empowered. I can do this thing!

Let the holiday commence! Happy Easter, everyone!

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like to read How To Get Things Done.

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Which hour will you Spring Forward tonight?

(Photo: Wikipedia)

British Summer Time will be touching down on these shores tonight and I’ll be first in the queue to welcome it. I love Daylight Saving Time: this kickstart for  the annual countdown to the midsummer solstice. To optimists like me, it seems to bring the chance of  sunshine and warmth that little bit closer. But it irks me that the national timeshift takes place when most of the nation are oblivious in sleep. If we’re going to lose an hour of our lives, wouldn’t it be better if we could choose precisely which hour  we want to sacrifice?

Every autumn, when the clocks move in the opposite direction (“spring forward, fall back”, as they say), I kid myself that I’m taking advantage of the hour we gain by staying up an hour later than usual. I then get stuck into a good late-night film or a book, inevitably lose track of time and end up going to bed far later than originally planned. As a result, I wake up groggy and tired, and far worse off despite the supposed hour gained.

So this spring I’m taking control. I’m going to consciously choose the hour that I’ll be foregoing – and it won’t be an hour of much-needed sleep.

(Photo: Wikipedia)

My plans for today are a mix of treats and chores. This afternoon there’ll be lunch at my mum’s followed by a family theatre trip to see the stage show of one of my favourite  Fred Astaire films – “Top Hat“. Topping and tailing this outing will be: tidying the house (again), ironing, laundry, cooking two meals, blogging, and a routine training run for the Bristol 10K in May.

If I lived anywhere near a take-away, that would be the obvious means to cut out an hour of chores. But in these rural parts, getting a take-away or buying a supermarket ready-meal takes far longer than cooking from scratch. So that’s out.

I really need to run – I’m way behind in my training schedule, delayed by coughs and colds in February.  (Thanks, BBC Sport Relief Mile, for livening up yesterday’s training. I did it twice, but two miles is not a patch on 10K.)

And I’ve really neglected my blog lately, so updating that’s a must. (Oh, and I’ve nearly done that now, haven’t I?)

The laundry basket’s overflowing, waves of dirty clothes ebbing across the bathroom floor. If I load the washing-machine a few times, that will also count as tidying up.

Manufacture of self-sealing gas tanks, , .
Is it me, or is she gritting her teeth?(Photo: Wikipedia)

So there we have it: a new, creative and indisputably rational excuse to avoid the ironing for another day. It’s just a shame the opportunity only comes once a year.

Which hour will you choose to skip today?

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like to read: How to Cut Down on Your Laundry

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Say It With (Fake) Flowers

Logo of IKEA

Frankly, I’m flatpacked out. I’ve reached that stage in my life when my home is more enhanced by getting rid of items of furniture rather than acquiring new ones. And I certainly never want to see another Allan key.

But this doesn’t mean my passion for IKEA is abating. These days my visits target the little bits and pieces that fit easily into my Ford Ka – and chief among those just now is the Ikea artificial flower.

An INSET day provides  the perfect excuse provides the perfect excuse for my daughter Laura (8) and I to mount an assault on IKEA. Using her new-found map-reading skills, honed in this term’s topic on “The Awesome Outdoors”, Laura leads off round the store. She is trailing one of of their small  new yellow trolleys designed to hold an IKEA yellow bag once it gets too full of stuff to carry without crippling yourself.

My main prey today will be some fake plants to create an indoor window box effect on the shelf behind the piano and whatever fake flowers are currently in season. (In season? What am I saying?!) Since we acquired them on our previous trip, long-stemmed sunflowers have been blazing in our bay window as if basking in Provencal sunshine. Even though I know they’re fake, they’ve lifted my spirits through the recent foggy days.

Toy cat with fake flowers from IKEAPeering from the top of Laura’s yellow bag is another device of clever artifice: Lulu, her spookily lifelik toy cat. Whever we allow her the luxury of batteries, she purrs and makes subtle little feline moves. She seems an appropriate toy to have brought with us to the land of IKEA make-believe. Lulu is so lifelike that I sometimes place her in public view in our front room, on the windowsill or sofa, to deter burglars.  I am surprised that no member of staff (sorry, co-worker) requests we remove her from the store. Nor does any mad old lady reproach us for animal cruelty. (I was once scolded by a stranger for leaving Laura’ lifelike, lifesize toy collie dog in a hot car.)

Our mission is successful: as a harbinger of plastic spirng, IKEA is serving up a new stock of gorgeous white daisy-like feverfew floers and long-stemmed golden buttercups. I scoop a dozen stems into the yellow bag, where Lulu is now reposing on a flowery fleece blanket (new, £9.99).

Ikea artificial flowers in green glass vaseDecanting the flowers later into my grandmother’s old green pressed-glass vase on my kitchen table, I’m uplifted every time I pass them by. They may not be real spring flowers, but they’re putting a spring in my step.

Psychological research has proven that artificial plants in an office setting have as much benefit as real ones on workers’ well-being. Naff placebos they may be, but placebos work, and that’s good enough for me. Happy plastic Spring Equinox, everyone.

 

(What are your naff pleasures in life? I think we should be told!)

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy: Saying It With Trees