I spent part of the weekend before last observing other people’s reactions to country churches they weren’t familiar with:
- On the Saturday, many visitors from beyond our parish attended the Hawkesbury Upton Literature Festival‘s autumn event at St Mary the Virgin, Hawkesbury – my local parish church.
- On Sunday, at St Andrew’s Leighterton, I attended the last of five concerts in the inaugural Badminton Benefice Festival of Music. Each concert in the series was held at a different church within the Benefice, of which my home church is a part. (A benefice is a group of parishes under the charge of one vicar.)
Each of the churches in our benefice are very different, but all are unique and beautiful and special in their own way. Strangers stepping into them for the first time are often bowled over at what they find there. I was particularly pleased when guest speaker Lorna Fergusson, an author based in Oxford – famous for its dreaming spires and so on – was effusive on Facebook next day about how gorgeous St Mary’s Hawkesbury is.
It’s easy for those of us who live in Badminton Benefice to become a little blasé about our remarkable ancient churches and their settings. We know they’re gorgeous – but we see them in a different way. When we come here for services, we’re on our home turf, we’re not tourists.
To regular churchgoers, it’s our home from home.
And, as in our own home, we stake our territory. Just as we have our favourite armchairs in our houses, or our preferred side of the bed, in church we usually sit in the same pew each week, once we’ve chosen it, for whatever reason. (I confess, I tend to sit behind Sally and Ian because they know all the hymns, so I can follow a microsecond behind when I don’t.)
Even parishioners who seldom or never attend services still feel proprietorial and proud about their home churches – and so they should.
These churches form a rich part of our nation’s history and our cultural heritage, and although technically they are owned by the Church of England, they also belong to us all.
That’s one reason I’m so pleased to see our local churches used for secular purposes, such as the Hawkesbury Upton Literature Festival and the Badminton Benefice Festival of Music. These events encourage people to visit for other reasons than worship.
How differently others see our churches when they come for different purposes. Here are a few perspectives of speakers at the Lit Fest.
Artist Philip Ringland took great care to position his sculptures to best advantage, moving them several times until he arrived at the best artistic effect.
Former English teacher Gerard Boyce, addressing the audience about Shakespeare, preferred to step away from the microphone and stand in the aisle, trying to emulate the intimacy of the classroom.
Author Mark Rutterford, performing a very funny story he’d written for the occasion, paid special attention to the hymn numbers on the board, because he’d written them into his story.
Even my perspective changed for the day from churchgoer to event organiser. I paid more attention to the practical needs of our audience, whether they were sitting comfortably and could hear what was being said. (One delightful lady who was having trouble hearing from the back was thrilled when I moved her to the bride’s seat at the front of the church, with its extra cushioning.)
In the run-up to the Festvial, I couldn’t rest until I knew the portaloo had been delivered. Tardis-like, it had materialised in the car park the previous day.
(Photo by Debbie Young)
At this point, I should add a huge thanks to local photographer Peter Salenieks, whose brilliant photos of the event gave a whole new perspective on the proceedings. Pete gamely appeared unasked at the start of the Festival and offered to take photos for no charge, and also very generously allowed the speakers to use the pictures for their own marketing purposes, provided they credit him for them. Pete’s also offered to give a talk at a future Festival about the difference in how photographers and authors frame their narrative. Bring it on, I say!
Anyway, the above thoughts were my jumping-off point for a talk I gave at the service in St Mary’s Hawkesbury last weekend. I’m a licensed lay service leader, which means I occasionally take services in the absence of our vicar.
Lay service leaders can’t give sermons. Instead, we give secular talks on a topic of interest or read something we think will appeal to the congregation. I chose to read a poem by Sir John Betjeman – a renowned supporter of English country churches – giving another observer’s perspective: a church mouse. Although the copyright belongs to the poet’s estate, they kindly allow it to be shared for educational purposes, so here it is below – with perfect timing for Harvest Festival season!
DIARY OF A CHURCH MOUSE
by Sir John Betjeman
Here among long-discarded cassocks,
Damp stools, and half-split open hassocks,
Here where the vicar never looks
I nibble through old service books.
Lean and alone I spend my days
Behind this Church of England baize.
I share my dark forgotten room
With two oil-lamps and half a broom.
The cleaner never bothers me,
So here I eat my frugal tea.
My bread is sawdust mixed with straw;
My jam is polish for the floor.
Christmas and Easter may be feasts
For congregations and for priests,
And so may Whitsun. All the same,
They do not fill my meagre frame.
For me the only feast at all
Is Autumn’s Harvest Festival,
When I can satisfy my want
With ears of corn around the font.
I climb the eagle’s brazen head
To burrow through a loaf of bread.
I scramble up the pulpit stair
And gnaw the marrows hanging there.
It is enjoyable to taste
These items ere they go to waste,
But how annoying when one finds
That other mice with pagan minds
Come into church my food to share
Who have no proper business there.
Two field mice who have no desire
To be baptized, invade the choir.
A large and most unfriendly rat
Comes in to see what we are at.
He says he thinks there is no God
And yet he comes… it’s rather odd.
This year he stole a sheaf of wheat
(It screened our special preacher’s seat),
And prosperous mice from fields away
Come in to hear our organ play,
And under cover of its notes
Ate through the altar’s sheaf of oats.
A Low Church mouse, who thinks that I
Am too papistical, and High,
Yet somehow doesn’t think it wrong
To munch through Harvest Evensong,
While I, who starve the whole year through,
Must share my food with rodents who
Except at this time of the year
Not once inside the church appear.
Within the human world I know
Such goings-on could not be so,
For human beings only do
What their religion tells them to.
They read the Bible every day
And always, night and morning, pray,
And just like me, the good church mouse,
Worship each week in God’s own house,
But all the same it’s strange to me
How very full the church can be
With people I don’t see at all
Except at Harvest Festival.
© The estate of Sir John Betjeman
IN OTHER NEWS
UNIVERSITY OF GLOUCESTERSHIRE FESTIVAL OF CREATIVE WRITING
(Saturday 29th November)
In the last few days, I was pleased to have received an invitation to be on not one but two panels at the inaugural University of Gloucestershire Festival of Creative Writing in November. The programme is still being finalised, but they’re taking bookings already, and tickets are free, so here’s the link if you’d like to book yours now:
https://www.glos.ac.uk/event/creative-writing-festival-2025/
HAWKESBURY UPTON LITERATURE FESTIVAL CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
(Saturday 6th December)
I’ve now confirmed the venue for our next HULF event, a Christmas Special, which will be at Hawkesbury’s Bethesda Chapel (a bit warmer than St Mary’s in winter, and just as charming in its own way). The programme will include Caroline Sanderson talking about her fabulous new memoir, Listen with Father: How I Learned to Love Classical Music, and much more. To book your ticket now, follow this link:
YATE LIBRARY TALK
(Saturday 13th December)
I’ve been kindly invited to give a talk about my books with a Christmas theme at Yate Library on Saturday 13th December. Tickets include tea and cake, and bookings are open now on Eventbrite here:
WHAT I’VE BEEN READING
The Satsuma Complex by Bob Mortimer
Knowing how many novels with celebrities’ names on the cover are ghostwritten, I was a little wary of starting this one, fearing disappointment, even though national treasure Bob Mortimer is one of my favourite comedians, and I really enjoyed reading his memoir. I need not have worried: only THE Bob Mortimer could have written this hugely original, hilarious, poignant and ultimately life-affirming comedy cosy mystery. I loved it so much I didn’t want it to finish, and immediately ordered the sequel. May there be many more.
The Cornish Christmas Pantomime Murder by Fiona Leitch
This book isn’t actually out yet, but I was sent an advance review copy by the publisher. This slick seasonal mystery is replete with entertaining details of behind the scenes at a Cornish amateur dramatic company’s pantomime. With the murder taking place mid-performance, the vast range of suspects includes the entire cast, crew, and audience. Former detective Jodie ‘Nosey’ Parker has her work cut in finding the killer, with a little help from the rest of her multi-generational household – elderly mother Shirley, fast-maturing teenage daughter Daisy, and kindly new husband DCI Nathan Withers – and members of the local community. This festive mystery comes with a generous side order of sweet romance, not just for Jodie and Nathan, still in honeymoon mood, but also Daisy, navigating her first serious relationship, and Jodie’s wily mother Shirley. Whether or not you’re a fan of panto, this is a fun read to curl up with by the fireside this Christmas. The ninth in the series, it also works as a standalone.
Abroad in Japan: Ten Years in the Land of the Rising Sun by Chris Broad
Honest, good-natured memoir by a young man embarking on what he didn’t know was about to be more than a decade getting to grips with the extraordinary geography, society and culture of Japan, now logged in a vast archive of YouTube videos as well as in this book. A good book for any Brit planning to travel to Japan – and his YouTube channel is packed with useful travel tips. I guess the key message is if you have a dream, go for it – and don’t let minor mishaps along the way deter you. Broad is certainly now reaping the rewards of his remarkable courage, while also paying it forward to the nation that has become his second home and which has been good to him. A great role model of the value of being an opportunist.
