Posted in Family, Travel

Running to Stand Still

Rush Hour traffic on the DVP.
Image by Aubrey Arenas via Flickr

Tonight we drive home from Grandma’s house, hitting the M4 motorway at about 7pm.  It is surprisingly empty for this time of year.  Secure in the child seat behind me, Laura has finished the bag of Butterkist she was given for the journey and is starting to wonder “Are we nearly there yet?”

“About half way,” I tell her, wondering why she really needs to ask.  Laura’s done this journey literally hundreds of times. As she was born in Southmead Hospital, just a couple of miles from my mum’s house, this was the route of the first car journey she ever made.  I remember passing through the hospital gates in my husband’s car the day we were discharged, tears of joy streaming down my face, tempered with incredulity that I was expected to know how to look after a baby so soon after the birth.   On that journey home, we played the CD that had been the soundtrack for her delivery by Caesarean – “Songs from the Auvergne”.  No wonder there wasn’t a dry eye in the car.

“Just how long is it from Grandma’s house to ours?” she asks me now.

“Usually just half an hour, darling,” I reply.  “Unless we’re driving through the rush hour.”

“Oh,” she says without a pause, “so I expect in the rush hour it would be just 15 minutes.”

Many thousands of Bristol-bound commuters must wish that was the case.

Posted in Personal life

It’s So Last Century

My sister-in-law Janet’s famed theory (“The best way to get something done is to do something else”) strikes again today as I take my car to the garage for repairs.

My objective: to cure the car of making an odd scraping sound that suggests the exhaust might be about to fall off. While the mechanics try to diagnose the cause, I’m restricted to a range within walking distance of the garage. So I hit Chipping Sodbury High Street with nothing to do but keep an eye on my phone for an update on my car’s welfare.

My achievement: one new skirt, one new waistcoat, one new jacket, one new blouse, plus a bill for £68 (so a bit of a bargain, then). This is, of course, excluding the garage costs.

A frequent target for comedians as the ultimate in rural backwaters, Chipping Sodbury High Street is actually quite a pretty place, with an old-fashioned marketplace centre and a range of shops untouched by the global brands that dominate most other high streets. Until I ran out of cats, my most frequent missions to Sodbury were for the sake of the veterinary surgery. Until the wonderful Mr Riley retired a few years ago, he seemed to spend almost as much time with my menagerie as I did. He particularly looked forward to appointments with Floyd, whom he pronounced “the most amiable cat I’ve ever met”. Even when taking an animal on a one-way trip to the vet, I always enjoyed the fact that Mr Riley’s surgery was situated in Horse Street.

Our house now being a feline-free zone, I spend today’s visit meandering down the High Street. I check out the charity shops, as you do, before wandering into a clothes shop that I’d never been into before. Having previously written it off as a shop for old ladies, I soon find myself enthusiastically trying on half the shop. At one point another customer asks my permission to try on a dress. I am carrying so many clothes that she thinks I must work there. I leave with a surprisingly full carrier bag, trying not to consider the possibility that the chief reason I nowlike this shop is that I’ve evolved into an old lady.

My car, incidentally, does not get fixed. The required part will not arrive until Monday. So my sole achievement this morning is to revitalise my wardrobe.

This comes not a moment before time. Recently I rearranged my clothes. Usually I oscillate between hanging them in order of colour and pairing them up in outfits, in between the odd bout of chaos. I flirted with the idea of putting them in order by date of purchase, until I realised that a shocking proportion of items were bought before the turn of the millenium. Never mind them being “so last year” – “so last century” was nearer the mark. Carbon-dating would not go amiss.

But one thing’s for sure: Janet’s theory is proven beyond all doubt.

Posted in Personal life

Janet’s Theory Strikes Again

Compelling further proof today of my sister-in-law’s theory that the best way to get something done is to do something else. (See blog entry for March 4th).

I take my car to be valeted. This is not a moment before time, on two counts.  Firstly, a journey with me has lately become increasingly like travelling inside a speeding wheelie bin.  (I was tempted yesterday to pull over by a van offering a wheelie bin cleaning service.)  Secondly, the valet service is actually a Christmas present from my husband, and in three days’ time it will be Easter.  In keeping with Janet’s theory, by finally having the car valeted, I manage to complete not one but five other tasks:

– I get to try out two new coffee shops while I wait for the work to be done

– I  finally sort out the toys, books and colouring pens that have been multiplying around my daughter’s car seat

While drinking the coffee, I draft article with an imminent deadline (working at home yesterday, I allowed the ironing to displace my writing plans)

– Feeling I’m stretching the goodwill of the coffee shop proprietors, I also visit the nearest  public library and am able to find the two books that my usual branch was unable to provide last week

– And last, but not least in terms of profitability, the mechanic finds  two major items of interest down the side of the seats – a purple fairy doll of my daughter’s and a nearly-new mobile phone that I thought I’d lost 18 months ago.

This is particularly good news for my husband.  As luck would have it, I invested in a new mobile for myself just the other day, so the rediscovered phone will now be passed on to him, replacing his current ancient handset.  This phone cost me rather more than the valet service has cost him, so this Christmas, at least, he has made a net profit.   And of course I benefit by having an immaculately clean car.

I wonder what I should request for next year’s Christmas present?