Posted in Family, Travel

The Centre of the World

The prime meridian at Greenwich, England
Image via Wikipedia

“Why isn’t our village mentioned on television more often?” asks my small daughter, Laura, as we’re watching the weather forecast.  “They mention Bristol all the time.”

The swooping BBC weather map has just reached the city where her grandparents live.  Our airspace, as ever, they have passed over without a mention.

For Laura, rural Gloucestershire is the centre of the world.  Now and again she seeks my reassurance that we will live here forever.  She worries that I may sell the house.  When I gently suggest that she may one day want to move away to university, or in pursuit of a career or a husband, she gives me an old-fashioned look.

I understand.  I still feel a gravitational pull towards my own roots in London suburbia.  I was born not far from the Greenwich Meridian, by which the whole world set its clocks – proof, to my childish mind, that I lived at the centre of the world.  Any mention on the telly of Sidcup still makes me feel proprietorial, even though it’s likely to be in the context of a comedy show.  “Porridge” and “Rab C Nesbitt” both used Sidcup to raise an easy laugh.

In my subconscious there lies a world map.  A large pin marks Sidcup as the focal point. Radiating out, in pastel colours, are the territories I’ve explored, while large tracts of uncharted land remain dark.  Even today I take pleasure in visiting places I’ve never been, so that I can mentally colour them in.   My map looks pretty colourful these days, but Sidcup’s central pin remains in place.

Few people feel no pull towards their roots.  We are all like tethered goats, though some have longer ropes.  My Scottish husband, an economic migrant to England at the age of 20, has lived and worked in many English towns and travelled as far India for holidays, but every summer he heads north, as compelled as a homing swallow, to conquer another few Munros (Scottish mountains over 3,000 feet high).   Avidly he records his conquests on a vast mountain map that fills our kitchen table.  If Laura had been a boy, he’d have insisted on naming her Munro.  Both she and I are very glad she is a girl.

About the time I was busy being born in Sidcup, a Tetbury-born friend of mine left home for university.  His career took him all over the country before he eventually settled in Norfolk –  about as far east of his roots as he could get without leaving England.  Yet in retirement, what should be at the centre of his thoughts but the area in which he was raised?  He’s now penning a series of whimsical stories1 based on the tiny territory of his boyhood, meticulously remembering every hill, every field and every lane.

Laura’s personal map is already of conquistadorial proportions: not many seven year olds have travelled as widely.  Before she was four, she’d been to Albania: her first kiss, at the age of three, was from a small Greek boy in Athens.  This summer she added the Outer Hebrides to her empire.  She’s now set her sights on Mexico.

“How many countries are there in the world, Mummy?” she asked the other day, wondering how many she has yet to visit.

“194,” advised the internet.

“And which one is the most popular?”

For a moment I’m stumped, till I consider a democratic approach.

“If you asked everyone in the world, the most votes would probably go to China,” I suggest.

She frowned disapproval, patting her “Team England” t-shirt to indicate where she’d cast hers.   (Later, doing the laundry, I check where her t-shirt was made.  No prizes for guessing its country of origin.  I decide I’d better not tell her.)

But no matter how far Laura travels, I’m sure her rural Gloucestershire home will always be her favourite destination. And now, as the autumn nights start to draw in, we are both very happy to be here.

(This post originally appeared in the Tetbury Advertiser, October 2010.)

Posted in Family, Reading

Write On

What new-fangled technology most irked the ancient Greek philosopher Plato?  Apparently it was the written word.  He feared that the spread of literacy would make people less reliant on their memory, causing their brains to atrophy.

Now that just about all of us can read and write, any discussion of memory is more likely to relate to computers rather than brains.  IT is certainly making us less reliant than our forefathers on the information we carry in our heads.

I’m old enough to remember the advent of the pocket calculator.  In 1973, my father bought, at vast expense, the revolutionary Sinclair Cambridge.  It was a very basic calculator by modern standards, but how we marvelled at it.

Photo taken by me of a Sinclair Cambridge pock...
Image via Wikipedia

We preferred not to believe that it would dull our powers of mental arithmetic, but now that such things are commonplace, there must be few modern accountants capable of what my grandfather, working in the 1960s, could do: add a whole page of figures in his head.

To my mind, dimming the ability to memorise facts and add figures is not the main problem caused by our dependence on computers.  What worries me most is that future generations will lose out on archive material.  Paper may biodegrade in time, but it outlasts most computer chips and disks and is a lot more solid than ether.   Whose computer can still access the 5¼” floppy disks that were industry standard just 30 years ago?  Even the fact that we measured them in inches must seem laughably old-fashioned to the latest entrants to the workplace.   We set aside paper and pen at our peril.

So in your understandable enthusiasm to fill your recycling box every other Tuesday for our commendable village kerbside collection, think twice about throwing away every bit of paper.  At least hang on the 125th Hawkesbury Show Schedule for posterity; guard safely this issue of the parish mag, especially if it mentions you by name.  In time, your grandchildren will thank you for it.

(Oh no, Debbie Young’s blog can only be accessed online!)

This post was originally published in the September 2010 issue of the Hawkesbury Parish News.

Posted in Family, Travel

Running to Stand Still

Rush Hour traffic on the DVP.
Image by Aubrey Arenas via Flickr

Tonight we drive home from Grandma’s house, hitting the M4 motorway at about 7pm.  It is surprisingly empty for this time of year.  Secure in the child seat behind me, Laura has finished the bag of Butterkist she was given for the journey and is starting to wonder “Are we nearly there yet?”

“About half way,” I tell her, wondering why she really needs to ask.  Laura’s done this journey literally hundreds of times. As she was born in Southmead Hospital, just a couple of miles from my mum’s house, this was the route of the first car journey she ever made.  I remember passing through the hospital gates in my husband’s car the day we were discharged, tears of joy streaming down my face, tempered with incredulity that I was expected to know how to look after a baby so soon after the birth.   On that journey home, we played the CD that had been the soundtrack for her delivery by Caesarean – “Songs from the Auvergne”.  No wonder there wasn’t a dry eye in the car.

“Just how long is it from Grandma’s house to ours?” she asks me now.

“Usually just half an hour, darling,” I reply.  “Unless we’re driving through the rush hour.”

“Oh,” she says without a pause, “so I expect in the rush hour it would be just 15 minutes.”

Many thousands of Bristol-bound commuters must wish that was the case.

Posted in Personal life, Writing

Always Someone Worse Off Than Me

People in a Waiting Room
Image via Wikipedia

As often happens, a routine hospital check-up kickstarts my “pull-yourself-together” mantra that there’s always someone worse off than me.  But this time the trigger is a little different.

Striding energetically to the Orthopaedic X-ray department, overtaking patients on trolleys and in wheelchairs,  I feel almost fraudulent for being there, although I’m only obeying my rheumatologist’s instructions.

Queuing at the department’s reception desk, I scan the waiting room to assess how long it will be before it’s my turn to be seen.  I do a double-take when I spot a pair of uniformed policeman in bullet-proof jackets, sitting opposite each other and trying to look inconspicuous in the far corner of the room.  Once booked in for my x-ray, I casually sidle over and take a seat a few feet away from them, gaining a front row view of whatever proceedings they are there to perform.  I’m hoping the radiographer won’t call me in any time soon.

After a few moments of pretending to read a magazine, my curiosity is rewarded.  A slender young man with a Caribbean accent, his arm in a sling, returns from the x-ray room and heads for Law Corner.

“It’s ok, it’s not broken,” he assures the policemen, as if that might have been their biggest worry.  He looks away, as if he thinks he’s dismissed them.  The younger policeman nods assent.

“Good, well, we just wanted to make sure you’re ok.  And that you don’t want to press charges against your attacker.”

“No, I hit him back and he ran off, so we’ll call it quits.  Let’s leave it there.”

But the young policeman doesn’t leave it there.

“And now my colleague has something he’d like to say to you.”

He nods across the aisle expectantly.

“I have to tell you that we are here today to arrest you on suspicion of possession of cannabis,” begins the colleague, and segues smoothly into the standard legal warning so familiar from TV.

Wow, a real life “nice cop, nasty cop” routine, I think gleefully.  I don’t know whether everyone else n the room is hanging on their every word quite as shamelessly as I am, but I’m too transfixed to care.

Sling man is looking incredulous.

“Cannabis?  You mean weed?  A spliff?  Does that count as cannabis?”

PC Nasty’s expression makes it clear that yes, it very much does count as cannabis.

“But when?” says the disbelieving sling man.

I bite my lip to curb a smile.  Don’t tell me there’s a choice of occasions!

“Further evidence has come to light following your arrest and release in March this year,” asserts PC Nasty.

“No, you’re having me on!  This is a wind-up!  Someone else must have given you my name.”

“That person also gave us your correct birthday, full postal address and other personal details,” is the stern retort.

Sling man’s tense shoulders drop and he sits back.

“Oh, that will be my brother,” he asserts confidently.

“We took the person’s fingerprints, so when we get you down to the station we can take yours too and see if they match,” chips in PC Nice.

Sling man looks down at his arm as if wondering whether last night’s fight will have broken his fingerprints.  A sudden thought apparently floods him with relief.

“March, you said?  March 2010? No, it can’t have been me.  I haven’t been arrested this year.”

“Deborah Young, please,” comes an untimely voice from reception.  Reluctantly I gather my things and head off for today’s dose of radium.

But there’s still a spring in my step as twenty minutes later I stroll back to my car.  Yet again, a hospital trip has shown incontrovertibly that there’s always someone worse off than me.

Posted in Family, Personal life

A Brush with Illness

While I’m struggling to detangle her long, thick hair this morning, my small daughter reminds me that all definitions of illness are subjective.hairbrush

What seems a tolerable level of discomfort to one could cause another to hit the ibuprofen.  A stomach pain that tempts  a  hypochondriac to stalk his GP might be neglected for years by someone with an aversion to white coats, regardless of the potentially serious consequences.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses,  particular to our unique biochemical make-up.  We each have our own definition of acceptable and unacceptable suffering.  Therefore who am I to disagree with my daughter’s earnest and considered plea this morning, as she wriggles and jiggles beneath my determined hairbrushing?

“Mummy, I really think you ought to make a doctor’s appointment about the muscles in your hands, to find out why your finger keeps going in my eye.”